How to Be a Footballer by Peter CrouchVery funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player - Sunday Times
The funniest man in British sport - Metro
**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you’re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay ?250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
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What I Wore: Peter Crouch
Crouch announces his retirement
Peter James Crouch born 30 January is an English former professional footballer who played as a striker. He was capped 42 times by the England national team between and , scoring 22 goals for his country in that time, and appearing at two World Cups. Crouch began his career as a trainee with Tottenham Hotspur. He had a relatively poor spell at Villa, however, and was loaned out to Norwich City in before making a move to Southampton , where he regained his form, which would ultimately prompt his joining Liverpool in July He spent just one season in his second spell at Portsmouth and left for Tottenham Hotspur, where he again linked up with Defoe and Harry Redknapp. He scored seven goals in ten European matches for Spurs in —11, but was unable to replicate this form in the Premier League.
The former England striker Peter Crouch has announced his retirement from football at the age of The 6ft 7in forward made his English league debut in with QPR and went on to play for nine clubs, including Liverpool, Portsmouth, Tottenham and Stoke before spending the second half of last season at Burnley. Our wonderful game has given me everything. Crouch scored top-flight goals in appearances for seven different clubs and also holds the record for the most headed goals, 51, in Premier League history. He played at the World Cup and scored his first competitive goal for England during a group-stage victory against Trinidad and Tobago. He was also selected for the World Cup in South Africa. Enjoy retirement.
Place of birth: Macclesfield. Citizenship: England.
quotes about old things being better